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I've been on this forum since last November on two or three different names. Out of all the dumb posts I've made, I think this one may be a little more important. I've never really told anyone about myself or any of my family, mainly because I don't know anyone personally enough to have that conversation. But today, I'm going to have a personal conversation with all of you.
My brother and I have lived all our lives here in Mississippi. My brother has lived in the same house since 6 months old, and I've been here since I left the hospital. I was born about 4 and a half years after my brother. Ever since I was old enough to comprehend anything, I've always looked up to my brother. When I was younger we had arguments like everyone does, but nevertheless, I ALWAYS looked up to him, no matter what. He could do everything I couldn't and he was always there for me. He was the best in everything, including baseball. He played baseball since he was 5 years old and continued all the way through high school. In little league, 9-10 all the way to 13-14, he made 'all-stars', every year. Every year they came close to winning the state championship, but they always came up short. He made the team in the ninth grade and received 'most improved' in the tenth. In '99, my brother was going into the 11th, and my dad was making trips to the oncologist. He was diagnosed with nonhodkins lymphoma. There wasn't a real treatment for that type of cancer, except one that still hadn't been through testing yet. My dad was 1 out of the 50 selected to receive this treatment. And so far it has done a good job. I don’t understand why this happened, but I'm thankful he has got over it now.
Also, in the 11th grade, my brother and team finally succeeded and won the championship in the 8th inning one night. Still have the paper here with the highlights. He was on the front page. It was such a great time. He had worked so hard for it all and went through a lot of troubles- in the tenth grade he fell off a car after a game one night at the football state championship, about 400 miles away from home, and his ear began bleeding. No one was going to call the ambulance, except one who knew there was something wrong. Doctor said if he'd been too much later he would have died. He had a fractured skull and internal bleeding inside his head. Ever since then, he's had different attitude. He always seemed intense when he got angry. Nevertheless, he still made it through and won himself a championship ring. He graduated in 2000. They came up a little short that year, but at least he had won it once. However, I never thought of it being the last game he would ever play there. A year after he graduated, he was involved in an extremely bad accident. He had his leg broken, around thy area, and his face was badly banged up. That's not the worst part though. His friend, Brian Davis, the driver, broke his neck in the crash. The truck later caught on fire and a guy, one armed I believe, pulled my brother and another girl out of the truck and to safety. He was unable to get Brian out. After that wreck my brother was never the same. He loved all his friends as much as he did family. He began doing a lot of things he shouldn’t have done. He never did go to college except maybe for a half a semester. My dad got him out of a lot of trouble, and he finally, after a year, he was getting on track again. He was working for my dad at his business and helping him out, trying to do better. He finally had his head up again. Then two nights ago, he decided to take the TransAM that I’ve talked a little bit about on here before, instead of my dad's truck that he's been driving. He has always said he would ending getting killed in that car, but he just wanting to driving it again, because it just came out of the shop with a new rear end. He just wanted to get out town and ride around with that nice v8 sound coming out the back. He wanted someone to notice him, again. Maybe talk with some old friends he hasn't talked to in awhile. At first I didn’t like the idea, but it was his car, so I gave him the keys. Before he jumped in the shower to get ready he told me to make a cd with the song ‘where da hook gone be’ for him. I didn’t know what to put on it and I never even made him one. He finished getting ready and he didn’t say anything bad to me about not making the CD, he was just so happy and he said bye and began to leave. I knew I shouldn't have brought that car home. I knew something was going to happen. He took a long time pulling out of the drive way. I watched him all the way. He slowly pulled out and I saw him go around the curve and out of site. I came back in, laid down on the couch. My aunt called around 7, and asked me if everyone was at home. She does this all the time. She's always calling every 15 minutes to check things out. She told me about a wreck that had happened. This was nothing new. Whenever she heard something about a wreck that looked like a car we had, she'd call and make sure we were alright. I asked her why she'd think it was us. I said everything was fine. About 10 minutes later, an officer called, my uncle, he asked the same thing, 'Are you alright?' I felt a little strange; I knew something was wrong then. I said yeah and then quickly demanded an answer for why he was calling and asking me that. His reply was simple but it made my heart sink. 'Chad was killed in a wreck bubba.' I don't know how to describe the feeling. Shocked, but still in control of everything. I don't know what to do now. I myself have been going through a little bit of stress too, but the last few weeks of my senior year in school have been great. This is the last thing I expected to happen. I feel lost now. Last weekend I took my car to Z1 and my mother told those great guys my brother should live with them. Maybe he could settle down a little bit, find something to do. 3 days later, he's dead. A month ago we went white water rafting together, now he's dead. If it wasn't for my brother I wouldn't be in the position I am now. I have friends because of him. He led everything in my life, now it's all on me. I have no one to follow or anyone to guide me. I have all sorts of mixed emotions. I feel like killing the driver of the minivan who caused the head on collision, by dodging a squirrel. The investigation continues to still see what really happen, but I don't see why anyone would swerve over in the other lane in front of someone. Seat belts are really a great thing. I think the minivan driver was wearing one, my brother was not, he was killed, and she was not. Another car was also involved in the accident as well, but I'm not sure how. The driver of the third car was also killed. It's hard to give it all up now. At first I thought about retiring from everything from the car community. I thought he had lost control of the car and caused the wreck. The investigation is still ongoing, but I don't believe that's what happened now. I thought about selling both my Zs and getting a slower luxury car, but now I want to fix my TT up for my brother. He liked the new 350Zs that came out, and I may buy one of those when I get enough money in his favorite color as well. I’m going to miss him, but in away he’s still here with me. At least he’s happy now.
I think he's looking down and smiling. He's a lot happier than he's ever been. I still can’t help from crying, though. All my life he’s been the person I’d like to be just like, and now I have to do everything on my own without him to follow.
I'm going to try to finish up my senior year and graduate and hopefully go on to college into engineering. I just wanted to say some things about my brother. If yall knew him, you all would love him. He was the best brother anyone could have. Chad; 10/12/81-10/28/81 I love you more than anything or anyone in the world. I will see you again.
I wished I had more pics to post of him. Please remember my brother. Farewell.
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NZR - 
18:50:59 10/30/03
